How to Grow

When somebody lands in my Melbourne office for anger management hypnotherapy, one of the first things I hear them say is how irrational their anger is. I interrupt here and point out that their fly-off-the-rails aggressive reactions are in fact entirely rational and understandable. That's one of the first things anybody suffering from reactive, angry tendencies needs to realise.

Anger issues are common. In a nutshell, an anger problem can be identified if you find you are aggressively reacting over something seemingly minimal. The same can be applied for any emotional overreaction. The reason? You have been triggered. And triggers happen due to our own unique past experiences, many of which occurred when we were too young to have the depth, wisdom and perspective to understand the situation clearly and take stock of our own personal responses to them. Sometimes, it is just one major dramatic event, more often however, smaller experiences over time build-up our own responses - such as watching unhappy parents fight all the time and being thrown in the middle of these conflicts as a young child. No 5-year-old or even 15-year-old has the level of mental development to handle this kind of situation well. 

Over time and repeated experience, we grow up and become sensitive and emotional over related events: a trigger is created. Then, when we experience a similar event in adulthood that other's may handle adeptly, we dramatically explode and find our emotions taking over all rationale and logic.

Are you with me? Let me outline what is happening in neuroscience terms.

Your Amygdala

Your amygdala senses warnings and threats in your environment and sends out alarm bells. When you are in true danger, enter: the sabre-tooth-tiger, this is a brilliant system because it kicks off a physiological response to the threat before you even have time to logically think about it. So, before you can sit, analyse and assess the situation, your amygdala forces your body in to overdrive to get the hell outta there or fight to the bitter end. A potent mix of chemicals flood your brain and body that force you to react in that split second. Exactly what we need to survive. But here's the thing, we are evolutionarily wired to adapt to all sorts of environments. It mightn't be the sabre-tooth-tiger that roams your neck of the woods, but it could be the grizzly bear or a red-bellied black snake (*blimey*). Or now getting a little clever, there could be more subtle threats, threats to your own emotional wellbeing, that your brilliant mind learnt to register.

So how does this system apply to anger? Your angry emotional reactions that overpower your logical mind in split-second environments are due to the specific events that you experienced in your past, that caused you to register these types of events as threats to your own environment. Following my drift?

Let's get creative about how your own unique upbringing might've shaped the 'threats' you sense. Did you experience an abusive parent? Or a school bully? Did you witness parental arguments? A violent sibling? Did family members suffer addiction or mental health issues? What in your childhood scared you? In what situations did you need to hide or stand up for your self? Whatever it was.. your amygdala learnt about this threat and sharpened itself accordingly to keep you safe.

But the way I react is no longer appropriate

Exactly. Whilst you might have been validly scared as a child when, say, your father flew-off-the-rails at your mother for a minor car incident, it isn't at all appropriate to react with huge emotion and aggression when you find your self in a minor car incident (or any for that matter) as an adult today. It doesn't serve any use or benefits. In fact, getting emotionally out-of-control in any situation tends to serve us more negatively than it ever can positively.

Rewiring Your Responses

RTT Hypnotherapy is in unique in that it explores your memory under hypnosis and uncovers the specific experiences in your past that lead to your presenting issue today. So if you emotionally overreact in relationships, or get unreasonably angry when you see people interact in certain ways, RTT enables you to take a self-check and get to the bottom of why that is. After re-surfacing past memories, I apply a range of psychodynamic techniques to start shaking up your subconscious mind.

Once we know exactly why it is you overreact, I can record your own personalised hypnosis mp3 to change your thinking patterns for good.

Anger Management is a Learnt Technique

The final aspect I'd like to add is that anger management is learnt. That's why babies, toddlers and little children get out-of-control angry over little things. As we grow up, we learn to deal with our emotions in more appropriate ways using our higher functioning (prefrontal cortex) rather than fall in to a reactive emotional mode. 

For all anger management clients, an aspect of re-learning how to control emotions in trigger situations needs to be applied. Our brain needs to be toned and exercised just like any other part of our body. When anger is an issue, it's as if the amygdala has become overly sensitive whilst the prefrontal cortex has become overly relaxed in certain situations. Accordingly, I work anger management techniques in to my client's hypnosis to exercise and re-set the brain's own natural responses and give clients a relevant mental workout.

Want to Talk About This More? 

Great because I love to talk. Drop me a line to hello@forestt.com.au or call me +61 406 616 009

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It's a great question and one I get all the time. Let me summarise how RTT hypnotherapy works for depression.

Depressed people are suppressed people.

Just think about the term 'suppression' for a moment. See the images it conjures up for you. Now associate suppression with a person. What do you see? Somebody who suffers from depression, right!?

If you suffer from a lack of fire and spark, a hopeless, lost feeling, there's no doubt you are also lacking the habit-of-action to express your self fully. The tools to communicate and seek your needs are essential in leading a satisfactory life. If suppression becomes your status quo, then over time depression is likely to come in to the picture. It is often perpetuated and misunderstood when people begin to use addictive substances and habits as a temporary fix. These may range from sugar and junk food, to drugs, nicotine and alcohol. The resulting chemical imbalances can double your problem and perpetuate the issue.

This is why when depressed clients come to me with other issues, we often go for a complete transformation package that deals with crossover and side-effect problems such as addiction and sleep issues. Whilst depression lies at the core, often we need to get at it from it's various expressions in the individual.

So why am I suppressing myself?

If you suffer from depression, then the tendency to suppress oneself usually started in childhood, where you probably learnt to bottle up our feelings. It may have been down to subtle parenting techniques such as parents or siblings reacting badly when you demanded attention, the family dynamic by which you were born in or through traumatic experience that wasn't handled properly. Whatever the cause, along the way, rather than learning to express needs, people with depression tended to turn their needs inwards and leave them stuffed and unheard inside of themselves. 

Within an RTT Hypnotherapy session, the past experiences that lead my client to learn their negative pattern of habit - to suppress oneself - are uncovered whilst they lie in hypnosis. Through making a set of self-realisations that relate to the habit, I begin to reverse the tendency through a set of psychodynamic techniques designed to bring greater consciousness to the issue and for the client to choose to break free from their habit. From here, I record a hypnosis mp3 directly tailored to the client's personal needs to break them from the habit.

Your one piece of homework? Spend 20 minutes a day listening to your personalised hypnosis mp3.

I require all clients to do this for 21 days because it takes this length of time for the subconscious mind to fully lock-on to and accept a new way of thinking that is self-serving. Changing thought patterns through hypnosis means you can adapt a new habit-of-action that allows you to get out there and go after your needs. This will be your new, natural, default-mode.

The end result? Life satisfaction.

I love talking. If you want to discuss how this technique could help you further, drop me a line to hello@forestt.com.au and we can set up a call to chat about it :)

Looking for the best hypnotherapist money can buy? Blogger Kesha Fay came over for local hypnotherapy in RTT therapist Forest's Melbourne home and wrote about her experience.

RTT is a cutting-edge form of hypnotherapy that gets to the root of problems such as anxiety, depression, weight loss and sleep by uncovering core early memories and experiences that set off a pattern of negative subconscious thoughts. This therapeutic approach is based on the philosophy that many of our self-limiting core beliefs originated before we were developmentally old enough to have the wisdom of insight and perception to respond to events in more appropriate ways. 

Forest is one of the most experienced practitioners of RTT Hypnotherapy in 
Australia, seeing high success rates with clients across issues - from the more typical therapeutic needs such as anxiety, depression and trauma to inexplicable, presenting physical symptoms such as digestive issues and even eyesight.

Read about Kesha's experience here:

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Hypnotised

 You know your life has taken a few interesting twists and turns of late when you find yourself lying on a strange couch one Sunday afternoon. No I wasn’t direly hungover, but about to enter into a deep slumber, otherwise known as hypnosis.

I’d only met Forest twice. Once on a winery roadie and once at Disco dress up party. Of course we’d hit it off instantly.

If you picture someone named Forest, she’s exactly what your imagination conjures up. Beautifully ethereal, coupled with a grounded wisdom belying her age. She seems almost otherworldly, whilst simultaneously being so very earthy.

Just the type of person you’d trust to lead you into a hypnosis.

“You have to let me hypnotise you.” She’d yelled on the dance floor over disco beats. “I’m very good!”

I’d of course agreed, tipsy yes, but also inherently curious. I’d been particularly introspective in recent times so it seemed fitting.

A week later I snuggle into her blanket, admiring an insanely cool interior space. Typical north Melbourne vibes: minimalism meets bright pops of colour with vintage furniture. Yes, of course, it was all actually her Grandma’s.

“Hypnosis probably won’t work on me!” I warned her.

I’m a stickler for honesty, and thought best to forewarn her so she wasn’t hugely disappointed.

I close my eyes. On instruction they flutter like a butterfly, weighing heavy on my lashes. And I disappear into an unknown world seeking the darkest depths of my psyche.

Except funnily enough I’m still awake. Her British Kiwi hybrid accent instructs me to walk down ten stairs, and slowly we enter the realm of my sub-conscious.

At this point in time I hover between a mix of skepticism, openness and of course pure intrigue. Then slowly vivid images start to populate my mind.

Several memories play, hazy visuals juxtaposed with startling clear ones. Memories as young as three, long forgotten many moons ago.

We dissect them slowly. Feelings in another moment, time fragmented with jarring illusions.

I don’t know how much time passes. Perhaps hours. Tears are shed and I’ve come face to face with memories I didn’t even know existed.

Forest then records a positive track. It’s full of all the warm fuzzy things you should really say to yourself daily but of course never do. 

It’s also designed, based on my memories, to counteract any negative thought patterns I may have acquired over time. I’m to listen to it for 21 days, as that is not only the perfect time calculated to create a habit but also to re-wire the brain.

I’m a fairly creative sort, with an overactive imagination, so I wonder how much was real and how much perceived. Yet a conversation with my mum, confirms a lot of what I described.

I must say I’m impressed. Although not entirely stoked with this news.

I’ve ventured into my inner psyche, and made it back to tell the tale. Will this provide insights into my current day to day world? Ask me in 21 days. Look for the head-phoned girl pacing the streets of Melbourne, smiling to herself in somewhat of a trance.

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Photo:  Sarah Lee www.sarahlee.photo 

It was so much fun to hypnotise the entire Wolfpack 2018 (an Enterprise Fitness initiative) last week in Australia. Over an intense hour long session, everyone in the room was regressed to their childhood memories and I lead them to start making the connections between the negative messages they received as a child and where these self-beliefs hold them back today. From this point of self-realisation, The Wolfpack were then hypnotised to install greater self-belief, motivation and confidence in expanding their own businesses and practices. 

Over the next coming months I am excited to be partnering with Enterprise Fitness - one of Australia's leading centres for personal training, health and fitness - to onboard as their mind doctor. Their level of expertise when it comes to working out and getting fit is incredibly impressive, they really take fitness to the next level, so my ears pricked up and I got in touch when I came across them. It's an honour to get to work with the entire team and their clients. Their standard of dedication is remarkably high.

This International Women's Day, I am setting my intentions on manifesting greater equality within relationships by encouraging women to choose peace and love over abusive partners.

One in four women have experienced emotional abuse, physical or sexual violence by a current or previous partner in Australia alone. That is an outstandingly high number. It isn't just those who are socially and economically disadvantaged that land in these circumstances, though rates are higher everywhere in the world when poverty comes in to the picture. I know women of all types - strong, sensitive, intelligent, successful, artistic, emotionally and mentally intact - who have been stuck in a relationship that is far from acceptable. I have had countless friends and clients land at my door believing there is something seriously wrong with them only to uncover that they are in an emotionally abusive relationship. This is always a powerful realisation because from here, effective help is possible.

It can be tricky and confusing leaving a toxic relationship. One of the most effective therapeutic tools in creating a positive shift to help a client move forward is RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy). To break down the process, I have created a holy trinity to leaving a toxic relationship that outlines the vital steps for anybody committing to getting out for good.

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1. You must recognise and accept that you are in a domestic violence relationship.

Domestic violence doesn't just mean physical abuse, in fact it is often a lot easier to admit your situation if physical abuse has come in to the picture. Domestic violence also means emotional abuse, manipulation, control, sexual and financial abuse. These issues can be subtle and difficult to acknowledge and accept. If you are a kind person you may be unaware that there are people who actively and consciously employ manipulation tactics because it is so far removed from who you are. This also makes you perfect bait for abusers. I have found that many clients and friends come to me thinking there is something seriously wrong with themselves when in fact they are going crazy within an abusive relationship, being made to self-doubt through constantly being gas-lighted and deflected by their partners. One of the hallmarks of domestic abuse is a continuos cycle of peace and calm followed by cruelty and drama. This is why it is so difficult and confusing for those suffering. Through submission to their less-than-truly-kind partner and even worship, peace within the relationship is achievable. Should they validly question any actions or behaviour, they are met with one-track anger and hatred. At times they may believe their relationship is going well but there is usually a turmultuous undercurrent. I always tell people suffering to be incredibly conscious of what their partner is blaming or accusing them of because this is usually what their partner is in fact doing, scheming or planning to do. I personally believe that abusive people are very mentally ill. However that is absolutely no reason for any person to allow themselves to be treated poorly by them. We all need clear boundaries.

2. You must use introspection to realise your own patterns of behaviour and thinking that led you to accept being treated as a lesser citizen within the relationship. This is where regression under hypnosis becomes an extremely powerful tool.

It may have been abuse at home growing up. Maybe obvious abuse or subtle, small examples of being put down that was reoccurring. You may have been conditioned as a woman to accept maltreatment, be it through religion, media or social norms. Hey, this would be incredibly understandable, since according to the World Economic Forum's 2017 Global Gender Gap Report we are still 200 years away from gender parity. Perhaps through this statistic alone it is easy to see why domestic violence is still so rife. Through some experience or another your personal boundaries were whittled down. You may also be an empath or have a 'carer' personality - a trait so many women are encouraged and appraised from a young age to have - viewing the abuser as somebody so far askew they need your help. Uncovering your own mental conditioning is an exceptionally powerful tool towards moving forward from toxic relationships.

3. You must re-program your self to recognise abusive people from the outset and be incredibly adverse to their charms and any notion of 'love' that you may have once developed with a toxic partner. This is where I create your own hypnosis mp3 tailored to your needs. Clients listen every day for 21 days to make lasting changes to their thinking processes.

The more knowledge you have surrounding abuse, the better. Research narcissism. Read the characterising traits and patterns through quora and online abuse support groups. Know what sociopathy is. Narcissists are grandiose in their charm, sociopaths are playing a longer game with you and prefer to appear like 'any other normal guy in society'. It can be hard to pick but trust your instincts. Does their presence seem somewhat vacuous at times? If you are looking to leave a toxic relationship that is long-standing, this is where you need to gage support and be ready to outsmart the other player. Beyond equipping your self with knowledge, hypnotherapy can free you from any notions of love you may be clinging. Forcing your mind to remember the truth and the unkind actions of toxic partners and eradicating the 'soul mate' memories that tend to come on so fast and strong in the beginning is an important part of moving forward. It is otherwise easy to be blind-sided and reeled back in during a 'peace and calm' phase.

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Because domestic abuse is so rife, I want to help women on a wider scale than just my one-on-one appointments so this year I am excited to be developing an online course to help participants free themselves from the grasp of a toxic relationship. This makes taking steps to freedom can be available for anybody, at any time. Alongside women, members of the LBQT community are also at high risk of abuse and whilst far less common for men, my heart goes out to anybody trapped within a toxic relationship. 

If you are looking for support to leave a relationship that it doing more harm than good, shoot me a message or sign up to get notified when my course comes out.

Warmest, xx Forest

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Domestic Violence Statistics

http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-violence-statistics.php

Global Gender Gap - World Economic Forum

https://www.wherewomenwork.com/Career/640/Global-Gender-Gap-WorldEconomicForum

I am super excited to have kicked off this weekend past by doing my first hypnosis recording to help pregnant women have an easy, natural, drug-free birth. I absolutely loved giving birth, it was such an empowering experience. I have wanted to share what I learnt about it since the day I got to bring my daughter in to the world.

Whilst pregnant, like most expectant mothers, I heard my fair share of horror stories about giving birth. We all seem to have grown up with this constant narrative about how painful, dreadful and body destroying the whole process of birth is. Movies, TV, media even parents love to push that idea on us. So much so that I believe the whole culture of this can easily cause valid fears and anxiety in any expectant mother. Ironically it is the psychology of this negative mental mindset towards birth that can actually cause a lot of the problems that come up during labor. More on this later.

I chose to not accept a bar of the horror stories and join a whole wave of mothers tapping in. I always loved the vision of a pregnant woman in India moseying off alone to the peace and quiet of nature and simply giving birth right there in that same spot, right under her favourite tree, where she has already given birth to her eight children before. Whilst the development of medicine and professionalism amongst midwifery is absolutely a bonus we must all take, what is poignant in this image is through lack of brainwashing via culture, society and media, women are so much more matter-of-fact and calm about birth.

How could there be more than 7 billion people pushing on 8 billion on the planet today if birth really was so 'terrible'? Ok I know, improved medicine, decreasing death rate as well as an increasing lifespan probably plays quite a major role. My point is that the idea of having a normal, natural and easy flowing birth is surely a perfectly plausible one given the sheer number of us who exist and have existed. I'm not even asking for a completely bearable and even more so, enjoyable birth experience at this stage (but do keep reading as I am endeavouring to enable just that).

Wider perspective removed, I can see how easy it is to grow up being influenced by the mindset that contractions, labor and birth are some horrific process. The great news is that any deep-seated limiting beliefs can all be reversed through a simple process.

The notion I fortunately came across whilst pregnant and locked on to was that of hypnobirthing. I read the original book by Marie Mongan and totally agreed. I took pregnancy yoga classes and encountered some teachers that were truly incredible in knowledge and secrets about what happens in our primal nature during labor and what functions of this behaviour were useful. Going in to labor is about connecting with that primal nature and letting your body's innate wisdom take over. Thinking *insert: overwhelming pre-programmed anxiety and fear about labor 'pain'* can really get in the way of this. I took a 2 day hypnobirthing course, any of which starts nearing $1000 to do here in Australia. Beyond having knowledge from the book consolidated in a lecture format, my main takeaway was a picture of a lotus flower and the vision to "open up like one". Actually this was great but perhaps needn't have been so expensive. Amazingly my dog was pregnant at the same time as me but with only 9 weeks of pregnancy I got to learn all about her birthing and received an avid lecture from her dog breeder about how much birth is such a natural, normal, non-drama the day before I went in to labor. The key takeaway: we are all animals.

Long story short. All of the knowledge that you need to have a wonderful, natural and easy birth can be consolidated in one hypnosis recording.

To have a successful, natural, drug-free birth* you must:

• Erase any previous fears you have picked up along the way about giving birth. These can be longstanding, numerous and deeply ingrained somewhere deep down you haven't even realised exists.
• Realise that taking painkillers numb your body from being able to use it's innate wisdom to safely guide a smooth birth as well as drug your baby so they are unable to be active in their own birth and alert to properly latch and breastfeed when born (an important first function)
• Realise that taking painkillers may actually interfere with your body's own natural painkillers - beta-endorphins and oxytocin - which are meant to flush through your body during labour in a major way
• Know that the 'pain' is the sensation exactly that of menstrual cramps. I've had menstrual cramps that were worse than labour.
• Accept that choosing to be scared during labour activates your fight-or-flight response, meaning that blood is drained away from your vaginal canal to the call of your vital organs. The result is that labour can be unnecessarily delayed, wearing both you and your baby out and elevating stress as well as make trying to give birth with no blood flow down there extremely painful and make damage more liable to happen
• Heightened stress means raised cortisol levels in both you and your baby. Studies show that mothers who are highly stressed during labour have newborn babies with elevated cortisol levels in their blood also up to 8 weeks postpartum. 

---> are you seeing how people get caught in this downward spiral when labour starts?

• Know that having the mindset to be confident during birth and simply allow your body to go in to it's primal state whilst flowing with the process will greatly increase your chances of having a normal, natural, easy birth
• Use visualisations and birthing wisdom based on the physiology of birth to safely guide us

My hypnosis track for an Easy, Natural Birth works along this rationale. All any pregnant mother needs to do is set aside 21 days to listen to it. The reason being is that it takes 21 days for your brain to fully accept a new belief system. If you have less than 21 days to go before your due date then don't worry, the track will still be useful and transformations still happen. 21 days ensures that everyone can reap the fullest rewards.

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So what does the Easy, Natural Birth hypnosis mp3 do for me?

It works on your subconscious level to eradicate any misconceptions and unhelpful information you may have picked up about birth. From here, it reasons with the mind about why choosing to be free of painkillers and to be calm about labor and contractions over being scared has overwhelming benefits. Then, the hypnosis delves in to powerful visualisations and programs a subconscious code for being able to just let nature do it's job with ease and confidence.

What are the benefits of choosing this hypnosis approach to birthing rather than others?

Other than the obvious health and happiness benefits to both you and your baby, this approach is simple, effective and cheap. You are ingraining in your mind the code for an easy, natural and successful birth. All you need to do is listen daily for 21 days or regularly whilst pregnant. An easy time of day is whilst you are going to sleep at night.

Joining a hypnobirthing course or reading the book is also a great option. I'm just simply offering an alternative that easier to do, can fit in to any schedule and that can be accessed by anyone as well as more effective because my recording uses a simple method to activate your alpha brainwaves so that you are highly suggestible and you can be sure that your mind has truly erased any misconceptions, locked on to this far more empowering concept and accepted it.

What if I believe I have deep, unique issues surrounding giving birth that are causing particularly strong fear and anxiety?

Arrange a personal RTT session with me to deal with your anxiety about giving birth which I offer either in-person here in Melbourne or online. In a session, we will uncover the deeply ingrained beliefs you have made to cause the issue and through a process of self-realisation I guide your mind to let go of these beliefs and then use hypnosis to give you new, affirming and self-serving beliefs to lock on to. This is a wonderful process with extremely high success rates that will leave you feeling unblocked and with a newfound sense of freedom.

Another thought I will add here is that often ingrained fears and anxiety surrounding pregnancy and birth is so high that it causes fertility issues. If you are struggling to conceive or know somebody who is for inexplicable reasons then it might be worth exploring RTT as an option.

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If you have stumbled across this, I hope reading through this has been helpful to you. My track will be released in the upcoming weeks so any mummas-to-be please stay tuned. Feel free to drop me a line with any questions you might have.

Warmest, Forest xo

 * Please be aware that the knowledge and guidance of medical professionals is absolutely important. Please always consult your birth plan with doctors and receive sound medical advice. Having a natural birth isn't a possibility for everyone. Likewise there may be underlying issues that are unseen during pregnancy but propose issues during birth. Always plan to give birth under the guidance and care of trained professionals in the field. Always be prepared to be flexible to circumstance whilst in labor. Often our children like to start testing and surprising us from the get go.

It was such a pleasure to share the work of Marisa Peer at the MindValley Australia Tribe Meetup and introduce the tribe to Rapid Transformational Therapy, which I offer here in Melbourne, Australia.

Take a look at the live footage including a confidence hypnosis session for the whole group:

If you have any Rapid Transformational Therapy questions, the second part of this video is an FAQ session, so do take the time to watch. You can also take part in the hypnosis for confidence by following my voice in this video. Members of the group now have an mp3 copy and are listening every day for 21 days to re-wire their minds for confidence on their subconscious level.

It was so fun to give this group hypnosis and a special thank-you to Amrit and Kae Bajwa for hosting this event. You guys are doing amazing work!

Warmest xx

Forest